Happiness is So Restless!
Indexing
I do it day and night,
On the infinite excel sheets,
Dwindling with jaded formulas,
Rows laden with sweaty years,
Columns perforated by picky desires,
Tired outcomes running an endless marathon,
Counting days, weeks, months, years,
Counting the space creaking beneath.
Indexing.
I have started doing it,
On my experiences.
Today’s lonely Uber ride,
Navigating through the smiling roads of chaos,
Bypassing the hopeful lanes of passion,
Into the wilderness of my burgeoning dreams.
Better than yesterday,
With no traffic signals working,
No one to direct,
Red: Cease to be you,
Yellow: Mold to their perceptions,
Green: Run with their wrapped shadows,
Nothing to transform,
The curious wait…
Indexing.
My subconscious has been conveniently doing it,
On my happiness.
Randomly coaxed in a routine over seasons,
Running on the treadmill,
Breathless,
Craving for the extra steps - the next source.
The mind already gulping the fuel for the next lap,
The soul still soaking in the last one’s bliss.
The borrowed faces,
The scripted emotions,
The ephemeral candles of happiness,
Many of them I have lit and snuffed out,
To light the next one - brighter,
And the next one - more brighter,
Sometimes stealing to flavor the moment,
Letting it glow,
Comforting the nippy night,
Sometimes,
Beyond it, keep indexing…
